with CK

PRACTICE

Making a freetalking tangent salad based on push versus pull identity.

April 12, 2020

Practice Session #7

Thanks for checking out my show notes! I’ll be utilizing this to clarify and elaborate on points that I didn’t convey as well as I would’ve liked to. I’ll also provide links to further information and resources.

I’ll be interspersing all of this with the transcription from the audio, which will be displayed like this:

Intro.

[00:00]

CK: All right, here we go.

Heyo! I’m CK and you’re listening to Practice.

I’m your functional systems integrator, and this is my podcast where practice is not just the theme of the show, but also the whole purpose behind it. I’m using this platform to practice podcasting and practice speaking in general, while espousing half thoughts and providing unsolicited advice.

So, every week I’ll be talking about my experience with this process along with various lifestyle practices, and also theories and ideas behind the virtue of practice itself.

Make sure to check out my detailed show notes for this episode where I’ll follow up on all the things I could’ve done better. You can find that in more info about this whole project ForcesOfEqual.com/Practice.

And as always, I’m fortunate to be here with my practice partner and partner in life: Pam.

Pam: Hey hey!

CK: Hey hey!

The latest on my podcasting practice.

[01:09]

CK: And today we are recording. It is April 12th, 2020 another week, another show, another session, and I’m just rolling along as usual.

So we’ve been going for seven weeks straight and… right? This is episode number seven, huh?

Pam: Yeah, that was a surprising number though.

CK: Yeah. That’s pretty crazy now that I think about it. But, yeah, we’re on episode seven. Holy cow!

And so what I’m thinking now, and what I mentioned last week, is we’ll start off the show talking about this podcasting practice.

And on that note, the goals I had from last week were to release last week’s episode by Tuesday- So we record on Sundays, and I was hoping to release the episode by Tuesday. That did not happen. But it’s okay. I’m still working with some logistics, and I did end up releasing the episode on Friday. And so I got it released within the week that we recorded the session.

Pam: Nice job.

CK: Yeah. So I think that is the first time that I’ve done that.

😞 The logistics that I got hung up on that I didn’t mention here had to do with the music-making aspect of this process. I’m finding out that my laptop isn’t well suited for what I want to do.

My desktop PC went down a few months back, so I’ve been running on my laptop PC. It’s only a year old, and it’s a top-of-the-line machine, but I didn’t have music-making in mind when I got it.

I’ve decided not to spend any money on non-essential things right now, so I’m doing what I can with my laptop right now. Hopefully, I can figure out how to get my desktop back up.

Submitting to podcast directories.

[02:22]

CK: And also I’ve been working on the submission process for the podcast directories. And there are some things that I didn’t know about that, that I’m still having to wait on in order to be able to get people to listen to the show.

So let me clear that up real quick. I have the podcast episodes hosted and, I mentioned before, I’m using Castos for my hosting, and so the episodes are out on the web. They’re published, they’re on the web somewhere, they’re live. They’re just not in the podcast directories yet.

And so like the big ones right now are like Apple podcasts and Spotify. So I submitted to those two directories on Friday or Saturday. Uh, yeah, either Friday or Saturday, and then there’s an approval process – which I’m not sure exactly how much really goes into that, but I don’t think I’ve been approved yet. And I’ve seen different sources say anywhere from between 24 hours to like a week that it takes to be approved into these directories.

So this is a part of the process that I wasn’t very aware of, and I thought- Well, I thought kind of two different things. For one, I thought it’d be a lot more difficult to submit the podcast in the directories. I thought it’d be a bigger process for some reason, but it’s actually really easy. And I’ll include some of this info in the show notes.

And I’m also in the process of creating a whole, like, “How to get started with agile podcasting” kind of resource. So you guys all have that to look forward to if you’re interested in doing something similar to what I’m doing here.

So yeah, so I thought it would take longer to have to fill out, you know, all these forms to submit podcasts and stuff like that, but it wasn’t really that big of a deal, and it took me a couple of minutes.

And, you know, really once you have the hosting set up, you can simply submit your feed URL – the feed, RSS feed for the podcast episodes. And that’s basically it.

So I’m just waiting on the show to be approved and then people can find it in Apple podcasts or Spotify. And most of the other podcasts’ apps or directories feed off of those. Uh, it seems like Apple’s kind of the major. podcast directory that all the other podcast directories kind of feed from.

Goals for the week.

[05:13]

CK: So that’s where I’m at with the podcast right now. And on that note, my goal for this coming week is to release this episode by tomorrow.

So I have the processes down to be able to do that. And so I think. It’s very possible. I’m not making any promises. We know how things go and stuff always changes. So we’re keeping it agile and adapting on the fly, but I really think I could get it up tomorrow.

In terms of if it’s going to be available, I don’t know, because that depends on the directories approving my submissions. But hopefully that will also allow me to begin sharing these episodes and some of the content via social media, which was also another goal I had from last week: was to start sharing and actually publicizing practice the podcast practice.

So hopefully I’ll be able to start doing that this week. And I actually did start reintegrating myself into social media a little bit last week. Actually, I think it might’ve been yesterday or the day before I posted for the first time on Facebook this year, I think. (☝️ It was “yesterday” – Saturday.)

Pam: Oh yeah.

CK: Yeah, so just an update that I might start sharing stuff a little more and also reaching out to people about this whole outbreak and pandemic and making sure that people know that I’m available as an ear to listen to them or just to chat and catch up.

So yeah, I’m reintegrating myself back into social media. I’ve kind of been social media distancing myself over the past couple of years.

Pam: I want a tee shirt that says that

CK: Yeah. And there’s a lot of reasons for that. I don’t know if we have the time to get into it right now, but maybe in the future we’ll go over some of that stuff.

And as I navigate the social media waters right now, it’s mostly going to be Facebook- probably Twitter mostly, and some Instagram as well. And I have some strategies that I’m thinking about that are in line with my own philosophies. And so I’m going to be testing them out and seeing what happens, and then we’ll see if there’s anything useful that I can share in terms of effective so- social media usage per se.

Pam: Yeah. I look forward to that ’cause it’s definitely a struggle that I have that when I use it too much, I don’t feel good.

CK: Yeah.

Pam: But at the same time, it’s the way that I connect with a lot of people.

CK: Right, exactly. And you know, I kind of fell into that same line of thinking when I started eschewing all this social media. But, now, like you said, it’s where you connect with a lot of people, so I’ve kind of lost a lot of those connections over the past few years. Not that it’s going to- it should be that difficult to reconnect or not that I haven’t been connecting with these people in other- on other channels.

But yeah, there’s a lot of good that can come out of technology, like social media if you use it properly, or beneficially or effectively, or whatever the right synonym there is.

So, yeah. So hopefully I’ll get this episode up by tomorrow and hopefully I’ll get approved in the podcast directories soon so I can share this stuff and start sharing via social media.

Doing new things is hard.

[8:53]

CK: And so now that I have a lot of this routine down in terms of producing and publishing the episodes, this week I’m planning on doing a lot more things on the website end. And this is exciting for me because this is the main thing that I’ve been doing for a long time – over the past decade, decade and a half.

And I love building and creating websites and it kind of aligns with my whole complex systems perspective as well, because websites are built with, you know, hierarchies of content, starting from the homepage and branching down from there. So yeah, there’s a lot of crossover. And this might be something that I’ll elaborate more on later in this episode, but I’m just excited to go back to what I know.

So, you know, these past few weeks I’ve been working on developing this podcast, and this is all new to me. So I’ve kind of been challenging myself and overcoming a lot of different obstacles. And so, you know, that takes a lot of mental strength and agility to have to learn all this stuff. And you know…

Pam: Doing new things is hard.

CK: Yeah, exactly. So now that I got most of the logistics down, I’m excited to go back and work on things that I know and I have a lot of experience with. And so that’s going to be exciting for me this week. And it’s not just for this podcast.

So, sorry, my voice is cracking. And, uh, uh, just my mind just went on a tangent of explaining like some podcasting tips on keeping your throat… Uh, what’s the word I’m looking for?

Pam: Lubricated?

CK: Yeah… Not dry,

But I- I just took a little chug of raw honey before this episode, but it didn’t really help. But yeah, there’s stuff that you don’t think of, especially when you’re not used to talking a lot. And so, yeah, I need to figure out how to talk this much without my voice cracking all the time. And sounding like a 15-year-old.

But, sorry, I just went off on a tangent. What were we talking about?

Pam: That you’re excited to get back into web development.

CK: Oh yeah, exactly. Thank you. So yeah, and that’s not just for this either. I have a lot of other projects that I’ve been working on, and of course my regular paying job. And so there’s a lot of stuff coming out of those other projects that are be working on as well. And so this week’s just gonna be kind of like me getting back to what I know how to do.

And I’m excited to see how much I can produce now that I have a different mentality after going through the practice of doing this podcast. And so, yeah, I’m just excited to see how productive I am this week in light of all that.

Pam: Yeah. To see how well you’re able to flow doing things that you know, after pushing so hard on doing new things, that’ll be really interesting.

CK: Exactly. Exactly. So yeah, I will leave it at that for now, and we might get to some more points coming up here in this next segment.

Introducing freetalking.

[12:40]

CK: So this next segment that I’m introducing today- or it’s more of an amalgamation of segments I’ve tried doing before.

Pam: okay.

CK: And maybe it’s actually just a different perspective on things, but I’m going to call it freetalking. And I don’t know if this is a thing, but as someone who is very into language and creating new words – I don’t know if this is a new word, there might be something about free talking out there already – but my thought behind it is along the lines of like freerunning. So…

Pam: What is freerunning?

CK: Kind of like parkour. You just run everywhere and jump over fences and, you know, roll over- barrel roll over tables and stuff, or… You’re just- you’re just running free doing whatever that your environment pressures you to do or whatever your environment allows for.

Pam: Okay…

CK: So, on the same lines, I’m thinking about this segment as freetalking. And the reason for that is, you know, I’ve been trying to come up with like an agenda for these episodes and talking points and stuff like that. And that’s kind of- I’m starting to feel pressured to know, like, know about what I’m talking about.

Or, I don’t know if that makes sense, but like, I feel pressured to be accurate with what I’m talking about. Or, you know, I feel the need to have all the research to back it up or evidence or, you know, just have- you know, have something solid.

Pam: Prepared.

CK: Yeah, exactly. But that’s not really what I want to do with this whole practice. You know, I want to practice talking and practice just conversing and speaking on the fly. So I’m going to just call it freetalking and see if that kind of helps me retain that perspective on what I’m doing.

Pam: Okay.

CK: And hopefullylike what I want to get out of this is: I just want to let it go. I just want to,..

Pam: Just wing it.

CK: Yeah, I just want to wing it. I just want to say what’s on my mind.

Because also what I found what’s happening is that, you know, I’ll start getting into a topic, but then I’ll think about something else. And then while I’m talking about the first topic, I’ll still be thinking about that other topic, and then I’ll be kind of just talking automatically and not even know what I’m saying while I’m thinking about something else.

And then I come back and I’m like, “what was I just talking about?” And I don’t even know if I was talking about the first topic or the second topic or if I just mixed them together.

And so I just kinda want to let it fly and see where it takes me. And hopefully you can help me stay on track or kind of point me in a direction where you think there’s more questions than I answered. So does this make sense? So…

Pam: Yeah. Let’s just talk and keep it interesting. I like it.

CK: Okay.

Pam: That’s where I thrive, so I’m good.

CK: Perfect.

Introducing push versus pull identity.

[16:39]

CK: And I do have some talking points in the agenda that I jotted down. So if you want to get- if you see a talking point that you find interesting that you want me to get back on or something related that you think I could mix in. Just let me know.

But do- So, do you see the talking points that I have now under free talking?

Pam: I do. Yup.

CK: Okay, so do you want to pick one? We can just go from there.

Pam: Um, I would like to start with push versus pull identity ’cause I have no idea what you’re talking about there.

CK: okay. Let’s start with that then.

Push versus pull identity. Okay, so I had to think about what I was meaning there. So basically this is a line of thought that I’ve been falling into lately and it has- it’s related to push versus pull marketing. So I’m kind of taking this idea from marketing and into a different function in terms of like psychology.

Pam: What does it mean in marketing?

CK: Okay. So in marketing, so push marketing is like when you come up with an advertisement or some kind of content and you’re trying to push it out into the public. So you’re kind of putting it in front of them, where you’re- where they can see it and you’re actively trying to get them to see it. Whether it’s through advertisements, or social media ads, or social media in general. You’re just pushing the content to them.

Whereas pull marketing is where you release the content or put the content out there and it’s basically good enough that people will find it. And other people, the people that find it, may share it. And so it’s kind of a passive approach where you’re creating the content, but you’re not actively seeking your audience. Your audience is just coming to you because your content is so good or so targeted.

Pam: So you’re offering value that acts as marketing because of the value that it has versus like telling people you want a hamburger, or here’s a discount.

CK: Right, right. So in terms of like search marketing, which is what we’re both in, it kind of has some correlation with like SEO, the organic marketing, where you’re trying to create good content and use best practices in web development to be found in the search engines and at a high ranking or for a targeted term.

So that’s more of a pull marketing tactic because you’re creating the content, but you’re having your visitors search for you.

Whereas. Like the pay per click or the paid ads or the sponsored ads are more like the push marketing strategy, where you’re paying to be in front of people or kind of almost forcing yourself in front of the audience, basically.

So in terms of identity, what I’m thinking- and this is kind of- it goes into how I’ve been feeling and how I’ve been growing in my mentality and mindset and, you know, mental health and psychology and all that. And hopefully I’ll be able to articulate this well enough because I’m just kind of processing it myself too.

And this is why I want to do this freetalking is because this is how I think all the time and this is what’s going on in my brain. And I’m trying to get that out, you know, and articulate it well so that I can get feedback on it and improve upon it. Or, you know, know if I’m going in the right direction.

Or oftentimes find out if there’s already ideas or theories or some kind of basis for this, if there’s, like, evidence for it anywhere out there already. Because that’s what I find out a lot with a lot of my thoughts or theories that I develop on my own is that, you know, I’ll be developing them and developing and developing, and then I’ll start researching and I find that there’s something already out there that’s already created and all hashed out.

And so… Yeah, on one hand I have all these thoughts and theories that seem to lead me in the right direction because I ended up finding something out there that’s been scientifically hashed out. And on the other hand, I want to, you know, integrate with this knowledgebase and other people who have these kinds of thoughts and you know, try to collaborate or communicate in that sense.

So I- so I’m totally-

Time to introduce the tangent salad.

[21:29]

CK: Okay. So this is another- this is going to be another element of free talking is something I call a tangent salad. So- and this is also how my mind works. Like I’ll go into these thoughts and go down a rabbit hole, but then I’ll go on a tangent and branch off the rabbit hole and go down another rabbit hole.

So it’s a whole tangent salad. I don’t know if that makes sense as a concept, but I relate salad to rabbits and so, yeah, but, and I kind of liked the assonance, I think. Is that the right word? That sounds weird.

Pam: I think tangent spaghetti might work a little bit better.

CK: Ooh… Interesting. Okay. Tangant spaghetti. Tangent sald. I don’t know. I like tangent salad, but anyway, I’m going to go on a lot of tangents and hopefully I can relate it back to what I was talking about before- originally talking about, which I don’t even remember right now.

🥗 Yeah, I’m sticking with tangent salad for now. Salad bars offer a smorgasboard of ingredients that can be combined in infinite ways, which is how I’m alluding to the complicated network of rabbit holes and offshoots that I try to navigate in my mind.

[22:29]

CK: But, Oh, we were talking about push versus pull identity.

Okay. So I’ve been feeling- I’m 40 years old now, and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m comfortable- getting comfortable in my own skin. You know, like over the past decade, I’ve been doing all this research and studying, and. On one hand, I’ve been kind of starting to isolate myself a little bit. Like I mentioned before, you know, I was social media distancing and all that.

And so, you know, I was- I guess I was trying to find myself or figure out what I am meant to do. And so, you know, I was going through that for like the past decade and I- There was some moments where I fell into like some real bad anxiety and maybe some depression even.

And so, you know, I’m just trying to figure stuff out. And I was like- now that I look back, I was trying to be someone that I’m not. And I don’t know if that will make sense. I- I hope people can relate to that somehow.

Pam: I think everyone’s trying to be someone they’re not.

CK: Yeah, I guess so.

‘Cause I mean, the thing is, like, for me, I was doing all this research from all these scientists and, you know, academics and PhDs and experts and stuff like that. And I wanted to be as smart as they are, you know, and be able to do research like that.

And, like- and that’s the way that I was thinking, you know. I- I thought that I had to be as smart as them. And- and this was across all different subjects, you know? So I wanted to learn and study every subject. And so I was falling into that pattern.

But looking back now, I can see that, you know, I was trying to be someone – trying to be these experts and scientists. But now I’m getting comfortable with the fact that I’m not them. And that’s not even what I want to do.

You know, I don’t want to be a scientist or an expert like that. I mean, it’d be nice to know stuff and know everything that they know. But like I was talking about in a previous episode, I’m more of a strategist. You know, I’m a systems thinker and I like to think about the whole big picture and strategize how things go together and the whole thing with complex systems and everything.

And so I’m getting more comfortable with the idea that, you know, that’s what I like. That’s who I am. That’s what I do. And so instead of pushing myself to be like someone else, I want to use this platform to try to pull people into what I’m doing and who I am.

So I don’t, you know, I don’t want to have to come up with content and try to impress or please people and, like, you know, come up with something maybe that’s not authentic.

So I’m thinking, you know, I want to be more authentic and I’m discovering my- you know, I’m- I guess I’m discovering myself now and finding my voice and realizing that I have a lot of things to offer and I want, like- And I know now that not everybody’s going to accept it or, you know, be receptive to it, but I know that people- there are people out there that think similarly to the way I think or have interest in that stuff that I have interested in- that I have interest in.

So instead of trying to push myself out there and make myself someone I’m not, and you know, maybe trying to model myself after like the best podcaster or, you know, follow their example. I mean, it’s good to have models and examples, but, you know, now I know I’m not trying to be them and I don’t want to be them. I want to be myself and want to find the people that are interested in what I have to offer.

So I’m not, you know, I don’t want to try to change anybody, per se, or try to force anybody to like me.

So…

Pam: I think that’s a really big thing for you. I think, um, some people might gloss over that and think like, well, of course, like you’re gonna like attract people that you attract and not attract the people that you don’t. But that’s- it’s a- there’s a big difference between trying to be someone and like trying to emulate other people’s styles and trying to like push yourself out there versus learning to become settled in who you are, what you’re- you’re bringing to the table, and understanding that your people will sit down at that table with you.

CK: Right.

Pam: And for you, um, specifically, you try and help everyone.

CK: Yeah.

Pam: You so badly want the best for everyone that you know, even if it’s like a casual acquaintance on Facebook, if they have, like, a health problem, you, like, spend hours researching and trying to help them.

And then when they don’t take your recommendations, you are, like, personally injured. It’s like- but that’s you pushing yourself on them.

CK: Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Pam: So I think that you will be much happier with the results that you get by not pushing.

CK: Yeah, I totally agree. And like that’s kind of the whole thing- or not the whole thing, but a lot of that has come out of this practice with the podcast- is just like, I’m-

I dunno if I had this thing with failure before. I mean, I guess everybody does. You know, you’re- you have a fear of failure.

But I also have developed a different mindset around failure pretty recently, and that is… Uh, what was it? Let’s see. I forget, I don’t remember who said this, but I came across an acronym for FAIL, which is totally genius. And it stands for: first attempt in learning.

Pam: Oh, I like that.

CK: Yeah. And so when you consider that perspective, and for me, considering I’m all about learning, then basically I’m all about failing, you know?

🔠 The FAIL acronoym was conceived by the late A. P. J. Abdul Kalam who was an aerospace scientist and the 11th president of India.

[29:28]

CK: So having a different perspective around that has totally helped me, and it’s also helped me realize- I don’t know if it’s from the failure notion directly, but from this whole practice of podcasting and putting myself out there, it’s just kind of helped me reflect on what I wanna do, and who I want to affect, and how I want to go about it.

So yeah, it’s- I can’t say enough about this process and hopefully I’ll be able to reiterate or articulate that well enough for people to hopefully join me or, you know, do something similar for themselves in terms of finding a practice. But yeah, I have so many other freetalking subjects or topics that I could’ve gotten into, but I’m glad I got that out.

And I think that was a- it was okay. It worked out okay, I think.

Pam: I liked it.

Another helpful pandemic wellness resource.

[30:32]

CK: Cool. So yeah, it’s- we’re going to have to start wrapping up pretty soon already, but I just want to leave everyone with another resource in light of this whole outbreak and pandemic. So I’d been talking about podcasts before and how I love podcasts. And I’ve recommended a couple of podcasts for the whole epidemic.

Uh, but I came across another one this past week, and it also comes from the TED series, and it’s called Checking in with Susan David. And it is great. It is such a good podcast. The episodes are like 15, maybe 20 minutes. So it’s a short listen and she is awesome.

She’s a psychologist at the Harvard School of Medicine, I think, or something like that. But she also has a book, and she talks a lot about emotional agility, and it’s just great. I totally recommend listening to Checking in with Susan David.

And that’s it for now, I guess. So do you have anything else you want to say before we sign out, Pam?

Pam: No, I just subscribed to that podcast. It looks great. There’s only three episodes so far, so we can binge and get all caught up.

CK: Yeah, it’s very new and she- I- I really recommend that everyone listens ’cause it’s just really good. It’s- she’s a really calming voice in light of what’s going on around the world today. And she knows what she’s talking about.

Outro.

[32:09]

CK: So check that out, and thanks for joining me on this adventure of positive reflection, agile podcasting, and functional lifestyle optimization.

Pam, where can people hit you up?

Pam: I’m on Twitter @Pamela_Lund.

CK: And you can hit me up on Twitter @cKdisco. And don’t forget to check out the show notes for this episode ForcesOfEqual.com/Practice. And that’s all for now. So I hope you come back next week and keep on practicing!

Too-da-loo! ✌️

You love that. Don’t you?

Pam: I do. Just the best.

🕺🏻

It’s taken me until the age of 40 to feel comfortable in my own skin. Now I’m trying to find my voice.

CK Chung

CK Chung

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