(Warmup) Practice Session #1

Thanks for checking out my show notes! I’ll be utilizing this to clarify and elaborate on points that I didn’t convey as well as I would’ve liked to. I’ll also provide links to further information and resources.

Intro.

I’ll be interspersing all of this with the transcription from the audio, which will be displayed like this:

[00:00]

CK: Heyo, I’m CK and you’re listening to Practice. This is my podcast where practice is not just the theme of the show, but also the purpose behind it.

I’m basically practicing podcasting and speaking in general. I’ll be talking about my experience with this process, along with various lifestyle practices, as well as theories and ideas behind the virtue of practice itself.

What you’ll be listening to here is my first recording for this podcast, which was originally recorded on the 1st of March, 2020. Going along with the whole theme of practice, I’ve since determined this to be the first of three “warmup” episodes, and the others as well as the first “real” episode will also be available shortly.

As you’ll soon hear, I’m borrowing from the agile software development methodology and adapting on the fly. Aside from this intro and the outro, everything will be unedited, so my progress will be fully transparent. So I hope this will be of some interest, especially if you’re curious about getting into podcasting yourself or if you’re looking to broaden your perspective on self-improvement.

For more details, check out ForcesOfEqual.com/Practice and feel free to hit me up on Twitter @cKdisco. And with that, we’re on to the first warmup episode.

ℹ️ I created that intro the week after the third recording session, which is the episode where I decided to designate the first three episodes as warm-up episodes.

Let’s get it on.

So, here is where the original recording starts:

[01:12]

CK: Hello and welcome to Practice. This is a podcast that I don’t know what it’s about yet. My name is CK, and I will be your host. And this episode is really going to be a live brainstorm about what I want to do with this. So today I have with me my significant other, Pamela.

Pam: Hi everybody.

CK: Call her “Pam”… and we’ve been together for over 11 years now…

Pam: Yep.

CK: And we’ve lived together for over 10 and a half of those, so we know each other pretty well. And I have her on here to help me do this live brainstorming, and have her help me stay on track, and maybe… help me with some ideas and stuff.

🤔 Hmm… I wonder if you can tell that I did not prepare for this AT ALL.

I’m not even sure why I said “Pamela” there. I call her Pam. We all do.

The fundamental principles of Practice.

[02:13]

CK: So, we’re calling… uh, I’m thinking I’m going to call the podcast Practice, and it kind of has more than one meeting. So, I want to use it as practice to… Practice for podcasting and just speaking in general, I guess. So, I used to be very quiet and I didn’t talk a lot in conversation. So, I need practice talking and I’m just going to rip the bandaid off and do this and get into podcasting and try this out.

So, uh, basically kinda force myself into talking more… and live and on the spot, uh, because before I used to be so in my own head and I’d play conversations through all different dimensions and options and perspectives before I would even say anything. And sometimes, you know, it would end up with me not even saying anything at all. So I want to get more used to speaking on the fly and just speaking in general. And so that’s one of the aspects of practice that I’m thinking about.

And another one is: I am very into routines and habits, and I have a bunch of protocols, and I like setting and optimizing schedules and the whole strategic aspect around that. So, practices in that respect are a big part of my life. And I’d like to talk about those and how others can utilize various practices to improve their lives, whether it’s through productivity or health or whatnot.

So yeah, that’s what I’m thinking with Practice. So, those are basically going to be the main principles. And then from there, I guess I’m just going to wing it, and use this maybe to think up some things that I could talk about.

So, my fundamental principles for Practice are to.

1. Practice speaking.
2. Practice podcasting.
3. Perpetuate knowledge.

The Agile process.

[04:28]

CK: But I’m just kind of seeing this whole process as more of an agile process. If you’re not into web development, it’s just kind of putting out a minimum viable product… and adapting and adjusting as you go along as needed.

So that’s kind of what I’m thinking about doing. So, Pam, do you have any thoughts or recommendations on that?

Pam: Yeah. So to give a little background here. I was asked to do this and found out about it for the first time about 45 minutes ago.

CK: Yeah, so… This is- I’ve been thinking about this for all of a whole five or six hours, so I’m just totally ripping the bandaid off and getting into it and seeing what comes out of it.

Pam: So…

CK: Yeah… Pam didn’t have much notice.

Pam: No notice whatsoever. And when you first told me about it, my, um, inclination was to say like, “Well, we need a plan and we need a topic and we need something solid to go off of.” And I- I tried to let that go and just let you do whatever you were doing. But I still, the second we started recording, had doubts about it.

And now listening to what you want to do with it and how you’re approaching it as practice… I really like that and I like how it puts an emphasis on the process instead of the result because we’re so focused on people being good at things and perfecting things and the, like, fear of doing anything before it’s ready for public consumption.

So… So I love the idea of putting out something that is practice and is not perfected and is going to get better as we go, and that it’s going to be very clear and obvious how you improve. Especially in speaking – you brought up how that’s something that you were not comfortable doing in conversation, but you didn’t do it in any way at all.

Like, even just one on one with us – I would ask you a question and it was like one or two word answers. You were never someone who would, like, really get into a lot of conversation unless it was like something that you were really interested in, but, like, you couldn’t just, like, have a spur of the moment conversation or answer questions off the cuff… you’ve gotten a lot better about it.

But, um, I really- I think that that’s a really great idea and I love where you want to go with it.

CK: Cool. I’m glad you think so.

🙏 Thank goodness I have Pam with me to keep me on track and help guide me along!

One thing I’d like to clarify here is that we’re really talking about my ability to communicate when I’m sober. Words tend to come out more easily for me when I’m under the influence of alcohol, which was typical for me in social settings.

With that said, I not sure about the quality of those words that came out. So, the goal is to become more comfortable with speaking while I’m sober, as well as to improve the quality of my communication all around.

My struggles with pedantry.

[07:01]

CK: Something else I want to add in terms of my practice with speaking and conversation is that I am becoming more and more mindful of how pedantic I can be when I talk about stuff. So I really want to work on that as well and make- be able to converse in a way that, you know, people are going to understand me and be able to take away something from the conversation.

And so, yeah, I’ll- I guess this is more of a warning that, you know, if I start coming off as being pedantic, I’m aware of it and I’m working on it. But yeah. uh, it’s gonna- it’s gonna happen. I’ll have those tendencies.

I’m not so sure that pedantry fully represents my hang-up here. More on that later below…

[07:44]

CK: And another thing is that I want to get myself into more of a producing mode or a production mode. And what I mean by that is… that I’ve had all these ideas- I mean, I always have ideas. I’m coming up with ideas all the time.

Uh, but there’s a couple that I am really passionate about. And another one that just kind of arose recently – which is basically music, and it’s kind of all encompassing. So I’m sure I’ll be getting into that a little bit more as we go along, but I find myself getting into stuff like this and just kind of diving so deep into the hole that I end up just continuing the research and learning… and those aspects rather than the production aspects.

So I never kind of get out and release what I’ve learned or, you know, kind of why I started researching or learning that kind of stuff in the first place. So I really want to start kind of just putting things out there and getting over the hump, per se, of, you know, launching something or publishing something.

Yikes… I need to work on my dependence on those filler words and reduce the tongue smacks.

[09:12]

CK: So…

Okay, so here’s me being pedantic again. In psychology, there’s the transtheoretical model of behavior change. I think that’s what it’s called. And so there’s, like, I think it’s six steps and it’s something like pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action. and then maintenance, and either adherence or relapse, I think. And then, you know, if you relapse, then the cycle goes over again.

But I’m kind of borrowing this model into, uh, the production aspect. And I dunno if, you know, it’s not scientific or anything, or I don’t know if there’s like full crossover, but I feel like I get in- I get stuck in, either like the contemplation or the preparation mode and you know, I can’t get out of- I can’t ya know get to the next step of action.

So this is hopefully a catalyst to help me take that next step and, you know, start producing and launching and publishing stuff.

That was kind of an example of how I think in terms of taking theories and concepts from one discipline, deliberating on the principles, and then repurposing it to apply to another discipline. I may refer to this in the future as “bisociation.”

[10:33]

CK: Was that pedantic enough?

Pam: I don’t think that that was pedantic at all.

CK: Okay.

Good. Well, maybe I’m getting better then.

Pam: I think there’s a big difference between explaining something that requires science or technical information, and being pedantic about it.

CK: Okay, well, I’m glad you think so.

Blecchhh.. I don’t know if I can come up with a way to express my desire here accurately, and that’s the point. It may be due to my relationship with the curse of knowledge – which is a cognitive bias that makes me assume everyone has the background to understand everything I talk about.

Since I’ve come to understand that bias, as well as others like the illusory inferiority corollary of the Dunning-Kruger effect, I feel like I may have developed a baseline of over-explaining things in an effort to be certain that my communication is understood the way I want it to be.

Like, did I just do that right there?

So, while my hang up here has a bit to do with not wanting to come off as being overly concerned with technicalities and minor details, it has more to do with wanting to speak at the level of intelligence of others.

Here is where I try to talk about myself.

[10:56]

CK: Okay, so let’s see. Where should I go from here?

Pam: Do you want to talk about why you either have problems with conversation or with launching products, projects…

CK: So I guess, I mean, even zooming out further than that, maybe a little bit more background on myself.

Pam: Yup.

CK: So I am a first generation Korean American. I was born in Chicagoland My parents moved out here from South Korea, immigrated to the U S in the late seventies, and I’ve lived out here ever since.

And I have a younger brother, he’s two years younger, and we get along just fine and he’s actually getting married in a couple months.

I’m his best man, so… we get along well enough for that to happen. Now we really get along just fine. But let’s see.

EEEK! I’ve been very private with my personal life, and I wasn’t quite ready to get into my background and my family. That why all of that was so awkward. I’m working on it!

I love my brother and we get along great!

[12:13]

CK: So obviously there was the notion of being a minority growing up throughout my life. So there were struggles going through that. And especially being in a town where I was one of just a handful of minorities and…

Pam: And not only, uh, minorities, but your parents were very, very new to America. So it wasn’t just like you were. The Brown kid in town. You were the Brown kid with parents who were trying to figure out what it meant to be American, which creates a lot of complexity for a kid’s life.

I’m Korean, so I’m not sure that I should be considered “brown.” I’m used to being described as “yellow,” though colors don’t really come up at all with me.

I found this interesting article on the topic: [NPR] Can East Asians Call Themselves ‘Brown’?

[12:48]

CK: Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you are a minority yourself or you know, if you can imagine. Going through childhood without much direction or help and trying to figure things out for yourself. That’s kind of what it was like for me.

I meant to say “a child of immigrants” rather than “minority.”

[13:52]

CK: And so that’s, I guess that’s a big part of my background, you know, just growing up as a minority uh, that, you know, that’s something important to know about me and the, I guess, obstacles that I’ve overcome throughout childhood of, you know, having parents that aren’t familiar with the culture and, you know, not able to really help me with my schooling or anything other than the maths and sciences.

But, you know, socially I had to figure everything out myself and even going to college and figuring out where to go to school and all that kind of stuff. I had to figure all that stuff out myself. So. Yeah, that’s something that’s important to know about me.

Okay, that was uncomfortable enough, let’s switch topics to something I’m more comfortable with.

CK: And I’ve been very athletic growing up. I played soccer and soccer was my main sport, but I also played baseball, basketball, and I ran cross-country a little bit. But in high school I focused mostly on soccer and became one of the best players in the area and got a scholarship, offers to play in college, and I did end up playing division one for a year before I got hurt.

So athletics and health and fitness in general are big parts of my life, and that’s definitely important to know about me. And so that goes hand in hand with the practices. So I’m sure I’ll be talking more about stuff in that realm.

And then now I’m getting back into music. I was big into music growing up through schooling as well.

I started playing flute in fifth grade. Because I thought that’s what a clarinet was, but it turns out it was a flute.

But I quickly changed to saxophone and played that through high school and got pretty good at it. I actually got more scholarship offers to play saxophone in college than I did soccer, but I wanted to play soccer.

So I ended up picking up the guitar in college when I dropped the saxophone. And played in a rock band for a little while. And then once I graduated college, I kind of didn’t do too much with music. You know, I’d strum the guitar here and there and play.

I have an electronic drum set that I used to play. I haven’t touched it in a while though. It’s been a couple of years probably,

Yeah but I’m getting back into music now through music production and beatmaking and I actually got into it through wanting to produce soundtrack for a podcast, so hopefully I’ll be able to produce some music. At least some intro and outro music for this practices- practice podcast.

Whew… I wasn’t ready for that either, so that was very akward. I ended up cutting things a bit short, but I’m sure you’ll learn a lot more about me if you tune in every week.

I’m also in the process of updating my personal website at cKdisco.com, so you may find more info about me there if you so desire.

[16:05]

CK: Is it going to be called practice or practice practices?

Pam: I like just practice.

CK: Practice, I think, yeah. I think just practice.

Okay. So now that we’ve got that settled

So yeah. I mean, big things in my life are athletics, music, health. learning. I mean, just, it all comes down to learning for me. So if I can learn about anything, I’m down.

Yes, I’m really doing all this on the fly!

I can’t believe I’m admitting this…

…but I do think these kind of things should be discussed more openly.

[16:37]

CK: So, okay, so what are we talking about?

Pam: Uh, well we were, um, giving some more background on you so that you could talk a little bit about why it was difficult for you to jump in on conversations or to launch projects.

CK: Right? So.

You know, we’re not sure exactly, but we’re thinking through my childhood experiences and obstacles of being a minority and having parents who weren’t really able to help in the social aspect… It kind of led to some anxiety for me, which just kind of built up over time. And so I was struggling with some mental health issues and like, yeah, the conversational stuff was mostly due to anxiety and me being inside my own head so much.

So I’ve overcome a lot of those issues. And you know, I’m going to be talking about that a lot, I’m sure.

I can’t believe I’m talking about this kind of stuff out in the open! This is a big step for me. A huge step.

I know I need to talk more about this kind of stuff, and for many reasons. The good thing is that I’ve been feeling compelled to do so lately, so I’m glad I took that first step!

[17:43]

CK: So Pam and I actually have another podcast in development, and so… Actually, this is kind of practice for that podcast as well. We’ve already recorded many hours, maybe about a dozen hours in terms of us just talking to each other about my struggles- or our struggles, both, with mental health issues.

And so, yeah, so this podcast- this Practice podcast will hopefully help us with our Equanimity podcast so- which is what our mental health podcast is going to be called.

And it was in thinking about the music and soundtrack for that podcast that I actually got back into music. And so hopefully you’ll be seeing or hearing more on that soon.

And… Okay, I’m getting lost here. What am I talking about?

Okay. This isn’t just “kind of” practice for Equanimity. It is definitely Practice for Equanimity.

I got flustered with all that there because I couldn’t believe I was just putting all this stuff out there for public consumption. As I was saying all that out loud on tape, the things I talked about felt more real, in a sense.

[18:45]

Pam: You’re just talking about why you struggled to launch projects or like why you need to practice. Whereas like some people can just go, I want to make podcast, and all of a sudden they like make a podcast.

CK: Yeah. And that’s amazing to me. Like, you know, some people can just go right out and do whatever they set their minds to. And you know, I didn’t really think that way. I was more of an experimentalist per se. So I would just do something and just tweak and tweak and tweak until I got it perfect, which was

Pam: Never.

CK: Mostly never.

Yeah. And so, yeah, it amazes me how people can just conceptualize something and then put it out there and you know, develop and produce it. But I’m hoping to get closer to that. And you know, this is. Just going on the fly. I can’t, you know, we’ve already been talking for almost 20 minutes, so that’s a good sign.

I began touching on experimental versus conseptual creativity there, but at the sake of being pedantic and talking more about anxiety, let’s quickly change the subject…

[19:51]

CK: On that note, I think I want to keep these to half an hour.

It already seems like I’ve been talking a lot, but hopefully it’s not getting too boring and you know, we’ll have a better format moving forward. But yeah, I mean, everything. In terms of what I’m trying to improve now. Those things that were holding me back was mostly anxiety and those struggles that probably started developing throughout my childhood years.

[20:25] So yeah, we’ll definitely be talking a lot more about that. And I’ll be telling you a lot more about our other podcast Equanimity, and basically just taking you through these processes, you know. I’ll definitely want to be talking about my practices.

I guess we’re just putting it all out there now.

[20:41]

CK: Oh. And another big thing now is I’m looking into becoming a performance coach. And so it just seems right. I’ve been kind of doing it in an informal way with friends and you know, people that ask me, and you know, I just love talking about how to optimize processes for better performance.

And so I actually have another project that I’ve been working on for the past several years called Evothrive. And I have developed a health program and it’s an all encompassing program, and it, you know, touches on mental health, physical health, social health. And it’s based on evolutionary biology and psychological sciences as well as behavioral economics.

So it’s very well rounded and holistic and functional. And so, you know, I want to take those things and I want to be able to share that, and I want to be able to start publishing more with Evothrive, and hopefully this will be a catalyst for that as well. Because I’ve been working on that for years and it, there’s so much good information that it needs to get out.

So that’s a good example of why I want to get into this production and publishing mindset. And… Because I have so many things and a lot of it’s already prepared and ready to go. And some of it, you know, just needs a little bit more, uh, you know, polishing.

But really, you know, everything seems to be coming together and now in how I’ve regained interest in music and it’s all just kind of fitting in to what I’m doing.

And, uh, even the additional resources I’m getting cognitively through my practices and different treatments I’ve been getting for mental health…

It’s just, you know, it seems like the right time for all this stuff to be happening. So hopefully this’ll keep me on track and that, you know, that, I mean, basically this podcast specifically is kind of a selfish endeavor, but at the same time, I feel like, you know, there may be other people in the same boat in terms of not being able to take that next step towards publishing or production, and you know, they’re just kind of spinning their wheels in that contemplation or preparation mode.

So hopefully, you know, there’s at least one other person out there that this would help. But, you know, I feel like, you know, I have so much information and I just want to share it. You know, a lot of it is really cool and exciting and useful. So yeah, I just want to share the knowledge that I’ve gained. So that’s the gist of it, basically.

Well, it’s all out there now. While that was an anxious mess for me to get through, this process is already nudging me in the direction I want to go. The pressure of having to come up with something to talk about nudged me to blurt out my passion projects.

We should probably go over some logistics.

[24:02]

Pam: How often is practice going to be published?

CK: I’m thinking I’d like to do it once a week. And I like… So we’re doing this on Sunday, it’s about four o’clock on the West coast. And I like this time because I usually play soccer on Sundays and… I’ve been out for about the past month because I dislocated a rib. And so…

But if this was a normal Sunday, I would have played soccer in the morning so I have my Soccer protocol, which is my practice that I go through on my soccer days – my game days. And so I’m totally, like in terms of supplements and what my body needs on Sundays, you know, I’m probably optimal in terms of physical and even mental health to be able to go out and play my soccer games.

So after my games, I’m still kind of up an amped… Uh, recently, especially recently, I’ve been doing some other new things with my practices and I’ve found myself, you know, having great conversations with my teammates, you know, over beers after the games and stuff like that. So around this time for me seems really good to take advantage of that mindset.

Cause, you know, on one hand I’m relaxed and on the other hand, my mind is still sound and you know, in focus and in a flow basically. So I’m thinking I’d like to do this on Sundays, around this time, every Sunday for half an hour and just maybe I’ll share something new I learned that week.

Holy cow, now that was a tangent that I was able to keep myself from turning pedantic and speeding down. Here comes a quick pivot and then Pam, thankfully, reels me in from making a whole tangent salad.

[25:50]

CK: So that’s something, uh, I’m big on learning.

So that sounds like it might be a good plan. And I love podcasts. So I listen to… I think I counted at least 15 to 20 hours of podcast every week, and I have like over 175 that I’m subscribed to. So maybe I’ll share like an interesting podcast.

So something I learned… Interesting podcast…

Pam: What do you think about, um, having a segment where you talk about a goal for the next week as far as putting something out there and then encourage listeners to set their goal for the week and let us know how they get along with their goal.

CK: Oh, I love that.

On one hand, and on the other hand, it makes me a little anxious to have to, you know, set something for my, for myself. But… But that’s a good anxiousness. And you know, that’s another thing that we could potentially talk about down the line is, you know, the different ways anxiousness can manifest itself and you know, all that, the whole spectrum of how it can be experienced.

But yeah, I do like that idea. I’ll… definitely going to do something along those lines.

Pam: It doesn’t have to be that you’re actually like putting something out in the world, but making, um, actual steps towards achieving the goal rather than rabbit holing down information… research…

CK: Right. And then, yeah, and that totally aligns with how I want to use this podcast as kind of an accountability measure for myself. So yeah, I like that.

We’ll see…

I fear nothing.

[27:39]

CK: Okay. So we have a couple minutes left. Do I need to talk about anything else for the first episode?

Pam: Do you, um, do you have any fears that are coming up with doing this that you want to share?

CK: I don’t think so. I mean, since I’m just kind of winging it and I don’t really care… and you know, now that we’re nearing the end of recording the first session, it’s like: Holy cow, that’s all I had to do? That was fun and time kind of flew by.

You know, there’s some little mini nerve wrecking moments, but all in all, this was a pretty fun experience, I think, and it’d be easy to do every week And you know, I don’t… I kind of really don’t care how it’s received because it’s getting the job done that I want it to get done in terms of holding myself accountable and practicing how to talk.

Who do I think I’m kidding? Of course I have fears! Why do you think it took me so long to publish these episodes??

This is being published 4-weeks after the recording session because I fear the impression I will make by putting out an unpolished product. With that said, I released the product exponentially faster than I’ve released anything like this before.

Now that it’s published and out there, the fear is significantly reduced, and the feeling of accomplishment and motivation far outweighs it.

That’s pretty freakin’ awesome, if you ask me.

[28:39]

Pam: What I think is really interesting about using this format for what you’re trying to do is that it forces you to not be able to edit.Because this is just a free flowing conversation. If you tried to edit it, I mean, you could like do little bits here and there, but this isn’t a scripted show. You can’t, um, say, let me like, do that over, like it’s 30 minutes of straight recording.

So that’s forcing you to really get comfortable with things not being perfect with it. With it being messy and like understanding that that’s going to happen and that your audience is going to be okay with that. Like they understand that you’re not perfect.

CK: Yeah, that’s a really great point. And on that note, I. am thinking, you know, once I get the hang of this, I want to release the episodes the next day on Mondays, but this first one will probably take a couple of days. I’m literally figuring everything out. I just signed up for Squadcast which is what we’re using to record this like an hour ago.

Okay, let’s bring it home.

[28:41]

CK: And so I don’t even know what to do after this, but hopefully it was useful or helpful or intriguing enough for you to come back for the next episode and hopefully it’ll get better is we go along.

And I want to thank Pam for helping me out and joining me on this. I might ask you to come on again.

Pam: I love it. This is kind of like therapy… I like getting you to talk.

CK: Yeah, and yeah, I feel like I’ll definitely need you, at least for the first couple of episodes.

Pam: I’m always here.

CK: But yeah, so I guess that’s it for the first episode of “Practice.” My name is CK and we were here with my girlfriend, Pam, and until next time…

Toodaloo!

Pam: Maybe edit that out.

CK: You didn’t like that?

Outro

[30:44]

CK: Wow… Too-da-loo, eh? I have no idea why that came out.

Anyway, thanks for listening to the first warm up episode of Practice. I don’t know if it was as fun and helpful for you as it was for me, but hopefully you find some benefit from it and come back for more. Make sure to check out the detailed show notes for this episode at ForcesOfEqual.com/Practice and feel free to hit me up on Twitter @cKdisco.

That’s all for now. So come back next time to see how I progress.

Too-da-loo! ✌️